And so this week’s moment of happiness despite the news.
Well, if you know me, if you read me, if you’re a student or a client, or if you follow me on social media, you likely know what this moment is all about.
Today, October 3rd, 2024, my 15th book was released. My 15th book in 14 years. My 8th novel.
Don’t Let Me Keep You.
By now, you might think that this is old hat. That I woke up this morning, yawned, stretched, had my breakfast, let the dog out, pet the cat, met a few clients, glanced at my calendar, and thought, Oh, that’s right. My book comes out today.
Oh, hell, no.
There was a time that I thought of giving up on ever having a novel, or any type of book, published. It was a hard, hard thing. I published for the first time at 15 years old. That was a really, really long short story where I rewrote the story of Christ in 1970’s slang. I was inspired by reading The Big Fisherman by Lloyd C. Douglas at the same time that I was listening to the rock opera Jesus Christ Superstar by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice. So I wrote the story and sent it off to, of all places, the Catholic Herald Citizen. They loved it and published it as a serial.
Whenever I thought of who I was and what I wanted to do, the answers were that I was a writer and I wanted to write. Everything. I especially loved fiction, but I loved poetry too. A beloved creative writing teacher in high school told me to stick with fiction after we had a poetry unit, and that demolished me enough that I hid the fact that I wrote poetry for years and years. But I fully embraced fiction, especially the short story, but the novel too. Everything I did seemed to point me down the road of success – the early publication, followed by more and more short story publications, being accepted into graduate level creative writing classes when I was only a freshman at the University of Wisconsin – Madison, going through four agents, bing, bing, bing, bing, all of whom promised bigger and better things, a personal letter from Ray Bradbury, encouraging me to keep going.
The novel remained elusive. But I didn’t quit.
One of the hardest moments for me came when a student asked me at a reading why I couldn’t get a book out. He said, “You’ve done everything right. You have the reputation, the credits, the hard-to-get agents, all of it. Why no book?” And all I could answer was, “I don’t know.”
My parents didn’t believe I was any good at what I did. They told me I couldn’t major in English or creative writing in college; I had to major in something that would give me a job. So I tried. I majored first in Special Education, with an emphasis on autism, which is ironic now. I very nearly flunked out of that, and switched to social work. I grew so bored, I fell asleep in lectures. So I changed my major to what I wanted to do – write – and told my parents if they didn’t want to pay their portion of my education anymore, I would drop out and get a job until I could afford to come back. They continued, but from that point on, if someone asked them what I was doing in college, they said, “Oh, she’s getting married.” Which I was. But that’s not what I was doing.
A huge low point for me came when my father told me he felt my college education was the biggest waste of his money in his lifetime.
But I kept going. Editors believed in me. Agents believed in me. And I believed in me.
I went through agent after agent, who would try to sell my most recent book for a year, then tell me to shelve it and write the next one. I followed their advice until The Home For Wayward Clocks. There was something about that book. I wasn’t going to give up on it, even after my agent told me to shelve it and try with another book, and I fired her instead and went out on my own.
And I sold it. By myself. My first novel, The Home For Wayward Clocks, sold when I was fifty years old and was released when I was fifty-one.
I will never, ever, ever forget receiving that acceptance email.
By then, both my parents were gone. They never saw any of my books. But I wasn’t in this to prove anything to them. I was in this to be authentic to myself, to be who I felt I was, to do what I most love to do in this world.
And so the books started coming. Eight novels. Two short story collections. A book of essays. Four books of poetry.
And I’m working on Book #16, though I don’t think it will be appearing in 2025. From January 17th to August 27th this year, I didn’t write a word. Not because I was blocked; I knew what I wanted to write. There was no shortage of ideas. But my whole world shrunk during that time to Michael. I don’t resent it. I don’t regret it. He needed me, and I needed the time with him. The absolute depletion I felt after Michael died did scare me – I wondered if I would ever have enough energy to write again. That was answered when I went to Oregon, sat down in the writing nook, and suddenly produced 72 pages.
I felt that I stepped back into my own skin.
But skin with damage. With a wound. Michael always brought me flowers on the day that a book was released. There are no flowers today. He was always in the audience at the launch. The launch is next week, and I know when I look out at the audience, he will not be there.
But when I woke up this morning, alone, I turned off my alarm clock and sat up. I looked out the window and said, “Don’t Let Me Keep You is in the world today. My fifteenth book. And there will be more.”
There will be. Never a doubt. Never.
I hope you join me at the launch for my 15th book, Don’t Let Me Keep You, on October 10th at 7:00 p.m., at Books & Company bookstore, 1039 Summit Avenue in Oconomowoc, WI. This is a Southeast Wisconsin Festival of Books special event. While I won’t see my husband when I look out at the audience, I hope to see friendly faces, offering support and encouragement as I continue to face down this new challenge in my life, trying to find myself all over again.
Though I don’t have to find one part. The writer. She is always right here.
And yes, that helps. Despite. Anyway.
To see the podcast, What Are You Reading? What Are You Writing?, aired today for the release, where I talk about Don’t Let Me Keep You, go to
To see the trailer for Don’t Let Me Keep You, go to:
