6/20/24

Hello, everyone,

My husband Michael passed away yesterday. He died very peacefully and quietly at just after seven in the morning. I’ve always read awful things about watching someone die – the death rattle, gasping, that sort of thing. But Michael, being the gentle and considerate man he is, simply stopped breathing. Our daughter Olivia and I were at his side.

I’m not going to write a moment of happiness for this week. I could say that the Moment is that he is no longer suffering. I could say that it’s that he went peacefully. And those things are true, and I’m very grateful for that.

But I am beyond sad. There isn’t a word for what I’m feeling. Sad doesn’t cut it, grieving doesn’t cut it. I said last night on Facebook that I have never felt more lost. I’ve been left behind by the one person in my life who I knew would never leave me. He didn’t leave me by his choice or of his own accord. The last six months have all been about his struggle to stay here. But he was taken from me, and from his family.

So no Moment this week. It would feel false. I think I need to honor this lostness, because it’s all about Michael, who he was, and who we were together.

Thanks for your understanding and your support. I’m hoping to resume what this blog is supposed to be by next week. But we’ll see.